Ignorance 1 Ignorance 2
Frequently-Asked-Questions Page
Born: Virginia.
Undergrad: University of the South in Sewanee, TN. (Best 7 years of my life.)
Masters: U. of Southern Mississippi and Mississippi State U.
Lived: VA, FL, TN, and NC.
Looks like you've lived all your life in the South. Why aren't you raking it in on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour?
Although I was born and raised in the South, I can't stand boiled peanuts. That is, no doubt, the solitary personality quirk keeping me off the Tour.
Is your dog really a dachshund/chihuahua mix? I mean, dude, come on, that's a totally sissy dog.
Yep. You can tell I live with three females because it's not a man's dog. The dog was a stray and, therefore, free (although I'd bet getting it shots and registering it with the city would probably cost something).
Are you really a teacher, or are you just trying to sound cool?
Yes. I really am a teacher.
Why do you have so little street cred, yo?
See previous answer.
Do you really have two daughters?
Check the circles under my eyes in the Lake Norman photos, and you tell me.
What advice do you give to your daughters?
"Internalize! For crying out loud, please internalize! It's not OK to cry."
What's your favorite U.S. Supreme Court case?
It's No. 00-1073, Owasso Independent School District No. I-001 et al vs. Falvo et al., of course, from Feb. 2002. The Supreme Court voted unanimously that it's OK for teachers to let students grade each other's work in class. That decision has opened up hours of time that I've happily filled with further TV watching and avoiding my children.
You've seen a lot of comedians for free. At this point, who would you pay to see?
Brian Regan. That guy won't let me on his guest list. And it's "whoM would you pay to see?"
So, your dad wrote two grammar books. Any long term repercussions?
Once the brain swelling subsided from repeated beatings at the hands of my classmates and teachers, I can now hold my head high and correct other people's grammar at will. People (especially my in-laws), I've learned, don't appreciate it as much as they should. I'll bet that's how Jesus felt.
Dude, did you just compare yourself to Jesus?
No. You probably misunderstood me (which is, I'd bet, how Jesus felt).
Who's cooler--Paul Hooper or Scott Oseychik?
Hoop, because his name is easier to spell, and his hair defies physics.